Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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