I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
