So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
