I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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