no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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