Sponge bath it is.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Randomize
