If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There's always time for handjobs
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
