in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
