I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
