so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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