She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
