I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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