with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
