shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
