i think my tv is drunk
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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