Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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