Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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