We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
These tits shall not be calmed
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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