my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize