pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
