Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
