dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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