A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
