so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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