hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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