Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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