I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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