Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
