fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
