Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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