Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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