I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
