why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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