you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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