Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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