omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just had sex on a roof
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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