is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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