everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
