Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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