that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
