I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
A+ Viking dick
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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