Swine flu. Run for my life!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
