so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
