I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
