I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
