I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
