If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
