So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
