Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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