I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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