guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
In America we eat man semen.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
