We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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