she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
