Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
