My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
