Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
