when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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