I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
