i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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