we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
