I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
