Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
