on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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