How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize