May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize