oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
