I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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