I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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