you would pick up someone in the library
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
