all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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