it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
