My room smells like vodka and shame
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize